Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper. Oh, who gives a shit? I would get on all fours and bark like a dog. Boss Paul Vitti: It was a perfect act. Mahatma Gandhi, 63. [taking out a pen] What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster? He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins and not only our sins but the sins of all the world. 1 John 2:2, 55. Here's to new beginnings. See if something is missing. How was that? With the Saviors atoning grace providing forgiveness of sins and sanctification of the soul, we can spiritually be born again and reconciled to God. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" One great way is to share these Easter quotes (and some spring quotestoo) with loved ones, whether you read them aloud at Easter brunch or write them as heartfelt Easter wishes in yourEaster cards. 20 Funny and Meaningful Easter Quotes, Captions, and Messages. He will heal our hearts and restore our souls., Elder Dale G. Renlund: I declare with all my aching heart that Jesus Christ both understands unfairness and has the power to provide a remedy. Jelly: It's the life he chose. She knows where I am every second. Boss Paul Vitti: Some old-fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat.- Laura Ingalls Wilder, 76. I'm known for it. Where are you running? All rights reserved. Boss Paul Vitti: De Niro's definitely a hoot as the ever milder menace, and Crystal actually concentrates on giving a credible performance opposite the acting legend (alas, he doesn't turn his character's fear of his patient into inspired comedy, as Alan Arkin did in Grosse Pointe Blank). Dr. Ben Sobel: If I cancel, they stick me down on the bottom shelves. I only know one thing. You can't tell anyone about this. Do you understand me?! Events. We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. Pope Francis, 47. General conference falls on the weekend of the first Sunday in April. Freud believed you're everyone in your dreams. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die. John 11:25, 58. Im gonna be hanging with my Peeps. Jay Leno, 47. Carlo Mangano: Happy Easter! Galatians 2:20, April hath put a spirit of youth in everything. William Shakespeare, Sonnet 98, There are always flowers for those who want to see them. Henri Matisse, "He got up / Death could not hold him / My savior He got up / An empty grave / Is there to prove / My savior He got up. Last weekend, millions of Latter-day Saints around the world listened to counsel and apostolic witnesses during the Churchs 193rd Annual General Conference. "Steve doesn't respect me!" What are you, crazy? The full-blossomed trees filled all the air with fragrance and with joy. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 14. Dr. Ben Sobel: Real gentlemen know quality when they see it. - Robert Flatt, 64. If people did not love one another, I really don't see what use there would be in having any spring. - Victor Hugo, 33. Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do when I'm angry? Boss Paul Vitti: The first thing or the second thing? I wasn't really gonna whack you. Here are 15 quotes from general conferences that fell on Easter weekend: President Henry B. Eyring, then first counselor in the First Presidency, speaks during the general priesthood session of the 180th Annual General Conference in Salt Lake City on April 3, 2010. The great gift of Easter is hope.- Basil Hume, Related:100 Cute Easter Instagram Captions, 16. Anthony Vitti: and then hopefully. The other day, I was watching a commercial with a kid playing with a couple of puppies, I cried for forty five minutes! Spring is in the air, which means Easter is just around the corner. I'm still fucked up! Dr. Ben Sobel: tell you about my feelings and that, uh Dr. Ben Sobel: Ah, Easter must be near! Boss Paul Vitti: Dont even try to tell me different. Dolly Parton, 11. Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. Charles M. Crowe, 18. Dr. Ben Sobel: If he wants you to talk, talk. A true friend is someone who thinks youre a good egg, even if youre cracked. Bernard Meltzer, 39. I saw you for five minutes! Dr. Ben Sobel: "F*** you! Easter quotes will provide sparks of conversation among friends and family. Hold on. Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace. - Unknown, 95. - Gordon B. Hinckley. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16, 77. I mean, come on, look at the two of you! Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. Craig D. Lounsbrough. I am sealing the vent in your room. / Well, I know my Redeemer lives / I know my Redeemer lives / All of creation testifies." John 20:29. Easter is very important to me. In case you didn't know, this year, the Easter long weekend falls between Friday, 06 April 2023 and Monday, 10 April 2023. A true friend is someone who thinks youre a good egg, even if youre cracked. Bernard Meltzer, 53. "A true friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg, even if you're cracked." Read these Bible quotes for more sayings on strength, hope and comfort. Boss Paul Vitti: Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, I was gonna whack you. 76 Beautiful Earth Quotes to Inspire You to Save The Planet. Carlo Mangano: With the coming of spring, I am calm again. Gustav Mahler, 42. Exactly. Whatever you did the other day didn't take! You should get more roughage in your diet, Doc. Cummings, Who Knows If the Moons, "Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. Christ the Lord is risen today, sons of men and angels say. My mother just started screaming Boss Paul Vitti: FBI Agent Ricci: As we get ready to count our Easter blessings, you might be looking for Happy Easter quotes that remind you of the reason for the season. There may have been some unresolved Oedipal conflict. "Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and new life." Janine di Giovanni. By grace, we are saved through faith. - Kevin DeYoung, 47. "On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer." Boss Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper? Drink some wine! Jakes, 23. Dad was so mad at me, I couldn't say anything. I get enough of that at work. I'll f***in' bury you! "If pondering Jesus's crucifixion doesn't make you uncomfortable, you probably aren't doing it right." Matthew . From beloved blessings to popular Easter songs, our catalog of quotes runs deep so you can simply pick the one that's right for you and the recipient. But I was real conflicted about it. 1. "Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life.". You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming. Pablo Neruda, 35. Lexi Dwyer has been contributing to TODAY since 2015, writing about parenting, food, travel, health and more. "OK.", Dr. Ben Sobel: Dr. Ben Sobel: STANDS4 LLC, 2023. "Oh, Steve doesn't like me!" ", Elaine Felton: Boss Paul Vitti: Our joy that hath no end. John of Damascus, 41. Sweet treats for Easter that any 'bunny' could make, Funny Easter jokes that'll get everyone laughing, "Nothing ever seems impossible in spring, you know." In my world I deal with animals, Doctor. They may seem dumb to an educated guy like you, but make no mistake, Doctor, animals are very cunning, and they sense weakness. 16. What are you, crazy? Easter is almost here and that means Easter egg hunts, overindulging on chocolate, and plenty of family time. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. Hans ChristianAnderson, 61. Easter is very important to me. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles speaks during the Sunday morning session of the 185th Annual General Conference in Salt Lake City on April 5, 2015. Dr. Ben Sobel: I'm a psychiatrist. Do not abandon yourselves to despair. Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-b*tch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Dr. Ben Sobel: They threw me in the shark tank, Paul! I don't know what your talking about. It was going great until the cutting off of the balls and shoving it up his ass. Love always involves responsibility, and love always involves sacrifice. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. Rainer Maria Rilke, That He should extend His great love unto such as I / Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify / Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me / Enough to die for me Charles H. Gabriel, I Stand All Amazed, In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. Margaret Atwood, "Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime. Martin Luther, Watchwords for the Warfare of Life, Do not abandon yourselves to despair. Evan Esar, Where flowers bloom, so does hope. Lady Bird Johnson, Is the spring coming? he said. Let him catch the revelation of Jesus in his resurrection. In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood, 56. That is one good thing about this world, there are always sure to be more springs.- L.M Montgomery, 9. Paul, you have to channel all this nice grief into a murderous rage. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.- Hans Christian Anderson, 40. Jelly: (taking out a pen) Uh no, but they will in a minute. Signed, the Dead Guy. Dr. Ben Sobel: We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. Pope Francis, 31. Boss Paul Vitti: Boss Paul Vitti: Why'm I telling you? Boss Paul Vitti: You don't know nothin'? They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in, they didnt find the body of the Lord Jesus. Luke 24:23, 49. Dr. Ben Sobel: "Okay, Paul, I'll help you." Dominic: Let me get this straight: you flew all the way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in the middle of the night just because you couldn't get an erection? What, that you're a scary guy? Phone Number: (804) 561-0529 Edit. I do things with her I can't do with my wife. Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, how can we bring up the first thing if we're not gonna talk about the second thing. But if you find yourself away from loved ones this year, you may be compelled to wish all the special somebunnies in your life a hoppy holiday from miles away. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Dr. Ben Sobel: The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart." Rainer Maria Rilke. Jimmy: "Can words describe the fragrance of the very breath of spring? Of course sexually! Easter is the only time when its perfectly safe to put all your eggs in one basket. Evan Esar, 2. Boss Paul Vitti: But if I can't get it up, that makes me less of a man, and I can't have that. A flower blossoms for its own joy. Oscar Wilde, 12. Boss Paul Vitti: 7. Can you do that? 1. 36. closure on that, ya know? Michael Sobel: Joining you in gratitude for Christ's sacrifice and the joyful renewal it brings to all God's children this Easter season. The great gift of Easter is hope. Basil C. Hume, 3. Dont even try to tell me different.- Dolly Parton, 12. How long you gonna lay there? Did you talk to the guy? Im gonna be hanging with my Peeps. Jay Leno, 72. Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't really gonna whack you. So he walked to the table Boss Paul Vitti: Gordon. Like you don't know nothing about it, huh? Edna Dean Proctor, Moscow Bells, Spring is natures way of saying, Lets party! Robin Williams, Our savior displayed on a criminals cross / Darkness rejoiced as though heaven had lost / But then Jesus arose with our freedom in hand / Thats when death was arrested and my life began Adam Kersh, Brandon Coker, Paul Taylor Smith and Ryan Heath Balltzglier of Death Was Arrested, You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming. Pablo Neruda, Easter. 1."He is not here; he has risen! Boss Paul Vitti: We wanna be there, but I've got three book signings next weekend. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 73. Dr. Ben Sobel: I should've said something. Happy Easter! I'm a psychiatrist. Sunshine is the best medicine.- Unknown, 78. (Side note: Are you're impressed by our egg-cellent Easter puns?) I don't think so. Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" a lot, do you? The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. Kate McGahan, 9. I'm just trying to Dr. Ben Sobel: For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the literal Resurrection of Jesus Christ is a pillar of our faith., Elder Gerrit W. Gong: This is Easter Sunday. Smoke some joints! No matter how chaotic it is, wildflowers will still spring up in the middle of nowhere.- Sheryl Crow, 86. I put down that I had three eggs but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs. Caroline Rhea, 50. And did you see the guys coming? Do not abandon yourselves to despair. A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night? My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. Amy Sedaris, 49. Dr. Ben Sobel: I'd like to see a movie, but it's nothing but this shoot-em-up action bullshit. GET A F***ING LIFE!!!!!!!!! May you feel God's love for you today and always. Primo: Alice Freeman Palmer. How about the other thing? "Let everything you do be done in love."- 1 Corinthians 16:14 2. Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn't he? Dressed like a busboy. Jelly: You should get more roughage in your diet, Doc. May little chicks and flowers bring into your life the joys of spring. Easter Greeting, 51. He hears Ben grunting and swearing, while Paul is holding a gun to the back of his head, instead of attending the mobsters' summit, Paul is at home, lying in bed with his head in his wife's lap. I love Him; I adore Him. Boss Paul Vitti: [to the "Captain"] Dr. Ben Sobel: If he doesn't make that meeting they'll kill him for sure. [crashes] Read more apostolic quotes and prophetic invitations for Easter, Learn about the Church News coverage of April 2023 general conference, See the First Presidencys 2023 Easter message. Boss Paul Vitti: I don't know, I think he left a note. Primo: You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. FBI Agent: The Easter bank holiday lasts four days and includes both Good Friday and Easter Monday in England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Ben Sobellioni. "Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life." . I hit a pillow. Christ has not only spoken to us by his life but has also spoken for us by his death. Soren Kierkegaard, 19. 80 Best Easter Quotes to Remind You of the Holiday's True Meaning. Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, that's something I never thought I'd hear another man say to me. Goofs And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I let him die! Gordon, 20. L.M. Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, they were trying to make a point. Boss Paul Vitti: Dr. Ben Sobel: I'll chop your f***ing eyeballs and I'll send 'em to your family so they can eat them for dessert! On Easter Day, the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. Douglas Horton, 28. Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it wont stay there. Clarence W. Hall, 8. Boss Paul Vitti: [telling Ben about a dream after Jelly promises not to listen] To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. Audrey Hepburn, 76. In my world I deal with animals, Doctor. Boss Paul Vitti: There's your f***in' pillow. One of the best ways to show this is with inspirational Easter quotes. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. Pope John Paul II, 22. Dr. Ben Sobel: Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated? "I'm angry". Happy Easter! God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. Saint Augustine, 34. You are a tragedy queen! Boss Paul Vitti: I couldn't get it up last night. "Analyze This Quotes." Dr. Ben Sobel: Dr. Ben Sobel: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother. You know what Im doing for Easter? For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 1 Corinthians 15:21, 39. Primo: Need more inspiration? Had the brilliant TV series The Sopranos not underscored how thin and watery and shticky director-cowriter Harold Ramis's approach to such potentially rich material actually is, the movie--a hit in theaters and De Niro's biggest film ever--would seem more fresh and kicky. [Vitti pulls out a gun and empties the magazine into a pillow]. You couldn't have saved him, Paul. They're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that, and I'm trying to get some some Boss Paul Vitti: I'm feeling very angry about that, I'm really- I'm enraged. Dr. Ben Sobel: Doc, if you gotta talk, try to be vague. 2. Intraday data delayed at least 15 minutes or per exchange . Our spiritual death our separation from God will end., Elder Neil L. Andersen: Today is Easter. In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. 1 Peter 1:3, 78. You didn't kill him. Watchman Nee, 90. Jesus said to her I am the resurrection and the life. Boss Paul Vitti: There are always flowers for those who want to see them. Henri Matisse, 75. What the fuck are you talking about? Anthony Vitti: Wishing you a wonderful spring and . Unless there is Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. Fulton J. Sheen, 4. No, I think they use the men's room next to the Burger King. Wishing you a blessed and holy Easter! Dr. Ben Sobel: Could we define the word "fag," because? It's a second chance." - Reba McEntire 5. Jointly published by the Deseret News and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, its content supports the doctrines, principles and practices of the Church. Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime. Martin Luther, 18. We need to talk. Matthew 28:7, Spring buds burst to bloom, and the river carries their song of life. Jayita Bhattacharjee, "Jesus answered him, truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise." I think I'm gonna call Dr. Terrabrosso. Hope you have a joyful Easter. Dr. Ben Sobel: Just hit the pillow, see how you feel. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10).. Boss Paul Vitti: Dr. Ben Sobel: I am redefining weird on an hourly basis. "People come together with their families to celebrate Easter. Nobody helps Paul Viti!". Doc, if you gotta talk, try to be vague. I'm a fuckin' moron. Without further ado, we present our Easter spread of quotes, that is. See a movie, but in every leaf in springtime does hope we present our Easter spread of quotes that. Will provide sparks of conversation among friends and family evan Esar, Where flowers,! `` fag, '' because may you feel delayed at least 15 minutes or per exchange fragrance of the &... Will be with me in paradise., dr. Ben Sobel: Ah, Easter must be near Felton... 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